I love metaphors.
It makes one thing seem so much more.
Like how the sunset feels like
Living in an orange laserbeam
Or how sitting at the back of a motorbike
Makes me feel like a tiny fly
Zipping through the narrow spaces between sure death
How about the sirens that go off at night?
They feel like..
Somehow they feel just right.
It feels right for them to blare through buildings
The quiet just no longer suits.
Wait..
Where was the metaphor in that?
After another bout of self-hatred, again I emerge the victor.
If you live in Metro Manila like I do, traffic will undoubtedly be one of the direst challenges to your day to day. I’m lucky I have a chance to work at home these days and not have to brave the daily commute.
Well, last night I met up with a good friend in Makati – which is typically a 30 minute drive on a Sunday and 1-2 hour drive on other days – and going home I opted to try Angkas (a motorbike service) for the first time.
The only other time I’ve ever ridden a motorbike was in China, seated next to my mom, catching a ride to the Guilin mountains. We rode a relatively big, comfortable bike then. This time, it was a small bike, just enough for two, and I felt like a small fly zooming through impossible spaces that seemed to open up between cars and sidewalks. Exciting 🙂
My only gripe is, even at 11 PM, not really much traffic, prices were still surging. I guess Friday nights get hyped up sometimes, too.
10/10 would recommend.
Below a creamy moon
Was a star
Like a beauty spot
Glowing golden, half-lidded
A streak of dark cloud
Like a cat’s eye
Sunset last week was like
Living in an orange laser beam
Today it was a pale neon dot
Washed into nothing by hazy rain
But my favorite was when
It set slowly, quietly
Only for me
A lot of the stuff of social media is mostly about posturing. I’m not even sure what it’s for anymore lately. Like–even if you started out actually liking yourself for the day, a short trip down your newsfeed will make you doubt that feeling a little bit. (It’s probably not going to be an overt feeling–just a deadening of a few love-yourself embers, but it can still be felt.)
So you post in return to feel better for a bit.
Some nights are welcome
Others are dark and starless
Stretching out like a void
Sometimes people can be unexpectedly harsh. So much so that I have reverted back to see what words have grown out of the mire in my head. You know they do not mean it, it could be just a reflex–maybe they do not want to allow your quirks into their brains, or maybe they have a bias against your type of personality, or (more likely) maybe they simply want to feel better about themselves at the closest chance. Your mind can try to unhook all the tiny emotional barbs..but it still hurts the same.
Please try to be kinder to others.
There is something about silence that awakens the soul. As if in that dimension, the air has cleared and your thoughts ring true. But silence here in the city is a pitiful thing. It is far from healing and tends to constrict and isolate–at least, that is how it feels to me.
A friend had told my mother of a place in Baguio that holds silence very much sacred. We brought our painting materials (the creation never ceases to inspire) and set out at dawn.
Some photographs I took:
Pine tree, rosemary, and a particularly moody afternoon.
A sampling of the wonderful and strange flora in the area. My mother is quite certain that the purple flower is a double gumamela (and my favorite).
Went downtown and bought a dragonfruit to share.
I did have my moments of weakness–after all, I am not very used to prolonged solitude. Logging on to facebook compulsively, I found myself lost again and again in the needless voyeurism of other people’s lives on the news feed. It took a very conscious effort to turn away.
On our last morning, I had the chance to converse with a father from an apostolic vicariate in the province of Calapan (incidentally, he was spending his birthday at the retreat). A strange experience, but not in a bad way, no. It is…rare to find a person soulful enough to unabashedly say ” God’s creation is wonderful” to a stranger, and not from a pulpit, not as a religious authority, but simply as a fellow child admiring his Father’s handiwork.
He offered to take a photo of me on my camera (in case I do not have one yet), and I requested to be among my favorite flowers. You cannot see it in the photo, but my soul was smiling as well.
By the way, the place we encountered is called Mirador Jesuit Villa. Here is an excerpt of the write up by H. de la Costa, S.J.:
“..Men and women who want time to think, time to reflect on what they are, what they must be or do come here, to this quiet hill beneath a quiet heaven: to reflect, to pray, to observe the signs of our troubled, yet immensely hopeful, times; to open windows to even broader horizons.
And so Mirador is still what it was in the beginning: an observatory, a point of vantage. And if this House could speak, perhaps this is what it would say to you: Look out of my windows and try to extend your vision beyond the Gulf of Lingayen to all of Asia. Try to make out more clearly what God’s plan for all these peoples is, and for all those who–like yourself–seek nothing else but to be of service to man.”
Til we meet again, Mirador 🙂
Someone once told me that I’m too attached to my dog. I think it’s true to say that I am very attached to Sumo, and I can’t imagine working or living in any other country simply because I’ll be leaving him behind (although I know I’m not the only one who feels this way about their pet). Well, what can you do when a puppy grows up to fill all the voids in your soul?
I can’t explain how I came to perceive such a bond. If you have a pet, you might also feel the same at some level? But if I had to put it to words, I would say that I believe he has one of the purest souls I have (in my limited experience) ever encountered. His expressions, autistic tendencies, and everything else that constitutes him all respond to our love and affection. He delights us with his intelligence (I have read somewhere that they are the equivalent of a human two-year old). Despite his penchant for barking at strangers, he never really means any harm. And overall we just find him irresistibly adorable. On top of all the graces God has provided, I will be sure to give Him an extra thank-you (or exuberant hug) someday for bringing Sumo to our daily life.
The Interesting Parts 